I recently visited a friend’s yard sale, where I came upon an old Ebony magazine with Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley on the cover. It’s been 17 years since they shocked the world by uniting two of music history’s “royal” families in short-lived matrimony, but I still remember the hype.
As I read the article, I thought about how so many of us romanticize romance … and look to celebrities for inspiration – both on-screen and off-screen. But consider how many celebrities have gotten hitched and/or became co-parents, proclaiming that they found “true love,” only to break up years (or sometimes months) later. Michael Jackson, Lisa Marie Presley, Mike Tyson, Robin Givens, Prince, Michael Jordan, Vanessa Williams, Rick Fox, Hallie Berry, Jill Scott, Paul McCartney, Lionel Ritchie, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jenifer Lopez, Sean Combs, Marshall Mathers … the list goes on and on. Creating this list took me as long it took to type their names (two minutes tops – I don’t type fast). Now, try to come up with a list of celebrities who haven’t split in two minutes. That’s a challenge.
What I find interesting is not the track record of celebrity marriages; it is that the public cares so much and that many of us seem to model our behavior after what we think celebrities are doing in their relationships. Interviews read like scripts: “So, where did you guys meet? How long did you date? When did you know that he/she was ‘the one’? Are you going to have children? What do find special about him/her?” Celebrities just provide the faces to fill in love stories that have already been written … because we want to hear them. If we did not want to hear, read or see these stories, they would not be presented. In a time when long-standing print publications have gone out of business or cut their number of pages in half, the many celeb rags featured in grocery store lines across America seem to be doing just fine.
Clearly, there is an entertainment factor at play. But many of us also seem to want what we read in the magazines for ourselves and for our own relationships. Even though celebrity relationships seem to come and go in a manner that many of us would not want to emulate, there’s something about their seemingly-glamorous, larger-than-life romances that warps our perceptions of what relationships are “supposed” to look like. In truth, we would be fools to think that we really know what is going on behind closed doors or in relationships in general. And even if we did, what works (or doesn’t work) for them would not necessarily work for us. They are unique individuals with unique relationships, just like us.
Now, if you are buying and reading celebrity gossip for entertainment, please do your thing. I am not talking to you. But if you believe what you read, or if you find yourself measuring your own relationships against those of famous couples, please reconsider. I suggest we let the celebrities (and ourselves) off the hook. The next time you see a magazine featuring a famous couple, leave it on the shelf. Do not buy it, or at least, don’t buy into it. Their relationships are as vulnerable as the next man’s, and no romantic spin that anyone puts on it will change that. All relationships are experiments where you put two unique elements together and see what happens. Some elements bind together for life; others repel instantly; and some group together for a while and eventually drift apart. My goal, and maybe your’s (if you want to be a Powerful Person in a Partnership) is to figure out what makes me happy, not what makes my favorite actor or athlete or anyone else happy … and to have some fun along the way.
Keep Rising,
Frank Love
www.FrankLove.com
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14 comments
DANIEL S.
November 14, 2011 at 2:20 PM
I know of no one who cares!! Who really does care!!??
Highlite
November 15, 2011 at 8:05 AM
I totally agree with Daniel. I do not, nor have I ever cared. I see this type of publicity as a way of avoiding the real issues in life, particularly in this country. News is supposed to educate and inform. There is an enormous amount of the population who need education even about the simplest things in life. This style of news is of no value, it equates as gossip. When I was younger one could get chastised for spreading gossip. Now it’s a multi-million dollar industry.
Rachael
November 15, 2011 at 4:00 PM
I can’t think of anyone I know, or who I have as a client, who is modelling their relationship on what they see in the celebrity arena. While some might envy or admire the money, the glamour, the attention, the lavish gifts and the ability to wing off to exotic romantic breaks, I think there is enough evidence of the negative aspects of celebrity relationship to deter any half sensible person from believing these celebrities have something to aspire to.
I don’t doubt though that many find the drama and obvious ridiculousness of many of these pairings entertaining and enjoy following their antics in a somewhat voyeuristic way and that alone will sell the magazines.
Siggy
November 15, 2011 at 4:59 PM
Frankly: I Don’T!
Shon Hyneman
November 15, 2011 at 10:52 PM
Great blog! I don’t know why people are so obsessed with celebrity relationships in the first place? Maybe it’s the money and the fame. The sad part is most people want to live the “celebrity marriage” but most of them end in divorce…Have we as a society accepted divorce as the norm?
DANIEL S.
November 16, 2011 at 5:14 PM
That’s a great question; why do people waste their time on anything to do with “celebrities” – especially their “marriages”. Notice, everytime you hear about a “celebrity marriage”, it’s listed as “mariiageS”!
Eugene
November 17, 2011 at 11:23 PM
I don’t care my parents were my role model 47 yrs of marriage before my farther passed. I was raised old school you find a way to work it out.
L. Hamilton
November 17, 2011 at 11:24 PM
seems they don’t look at Kim, what was it 3 hours maybe. err not really but very short. Most it seems the matrimony is only for two things the mattress and the money. cause after the Mattress is broken they need to split the Money. what did they say till death do us part and what do the bruthas say after they get a piece and brag about it? ” I done kilt that A..” Till Death do Us part
Jason C.
November 17, 2011 at 11:24 PM
I typically don’t care about the lives of celebrities, unless they are actually doing some good or otherwise flaunting the justice system in our faces.
Joanna
November 20, 2011 at 10:25 PM
Celebrity is there to shock the world through the media and market themselves to make themselves important to the world. Question what do these celebrities contribute to the world in reality nothing but fill out my television and the media world with garbage. Yet they are making money, these are not people with the sense of dedication such as Albert Sweitzer whom dedicated his life in curing sick people. I never know any of these celebrities anymore, I do not watch television or movies, and only go the internet in search of intellectual discussion and I apologize to make this comment if it offends anyone. I do not hate the so-called celebrity but I do not feel the emhasis that they placed in their lifestyle should place any importance in anyone it is too over-hype. Once we pass the policy and the law in this country to stop people from making way too much money starting with the CEO cap to the celebrity making too much money while 150 million Americans are struggling daily to meet their economic needs, celebrity sensationalism is going to end. Thats my comments
ana k
November 22, 2011 at 8:53 AM
I don’t care about the celebrity lives
Denise
November 30, 2011 at 5:29 PM
Wow! I had to look twice at this cover. I think we care about some celebrities because we see them as people who’ve done what we want to do (achieve their dreams). I think that’s a major pull people have toward celebrities; it’s as if they inspire others to know they can achieve their dreams too. Then after awhile fame may take over and make celebrity an odd creature.
Paul
December 1, 2011 at 10:36 AM
I for one don’t care but I can understand the desire to live through people’s life’s who are consistently portraying the public life of the life’s people wish they could live but either don’t work hard enough to live it or just has unfortunate luck.
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