Podcast Episode:
Wanna learn about a tool to measure how you and others think? We’ll learn about the Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument on this edition of Frank Relationships.
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RANK RELATIONSHIPS: A TOOL FOR MEASURING HOW WE THINK, “THE HERRMANN BRAIN DOMINANCE INSTRUMENT”
Guest: David Bullock
Date: February 22, 2016
Frank: Wanna learn about a tool to measure how you and others think? We’ll learn about the Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument on this edition of Frank Relationships.
Yup, as always, those are my babies. Thanks for getting daddy’s daughter today.
Welcome to Frank Relationships where we provide a candid, fresh and frank look in the relationships with goals of acceptance, respect and flexibility. I’m Frank Love and you can find me, my blog and my various social media incarnations at franklove.com.
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Greetings to my co-host, Nancy Goldring.
Nancy: Hi, Frank.
Frank: How’s it going?
Nancy: Going great.
Frank: My favourite consummate generalist.
Nancy: Thank you.
Frank: What’s new in the world of relationships today? What’s in the news?
Nancy: What’s in the news Frank? No, I’m like I’m not news-worthy.
Frank: But you already got something to say.
Nancy: Always got something to say.
Frank: I’m sure.
Nancy: Oh listen to this. I don’t know how we’re going to segway this, however.
Frank: But you throw it out there and see what I can do with it.
Nancy: I have a friend who has been working on, getting fit right. So she tells me yesterday that she has new idol and the new idol is—
Frank: I have another follower, is that—? I had someone else that thinks the world of me.
Nancy: Oh no. You have been Trump-ed, okay? Evidently, in this years addition of the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated, they have their first ever plus-size model.
Frank: Okay.
Nancy: And she was so incredibly encouraged by that. I learned by just a cursory read of the article that the average woman in America is a size 14.
Frank: Wow.
Nancy: Stood my hair up. Oh my god, I lost all that weight and for what?
Frank: Now you are framing this for me because I don’t know anything between a 14 and a 4.
Nancy: And a 6?
Frank: Yeah.
Nancy: You would if you tried to lift it.
Frank: Okay.
Nancy: I mean I don’t say that.
Frank: You made my back hurt just by saying that.
Nancy: There it is my brotha. I don’t even mean that in the pejorative sense. I only mean that we as women, especially in the west, are so incredibly weight-conscious and so much of our self-valuing mechanisms come on or off line based on how are jeans fit, how much weight we’re carrying and our hips are around the middle. So for there to be an open acknowledgment—
Frank: And appreciation.
Nancy: —and appreciation of beauty in a woman who is not pencil thin, that’s serious.
Frank: Because it’s not just acknowledgment. I think that everybody acknowledges that there are larger sized women in the world.
Nancy: Oh sure. Buck some beauties.
Frank: Yes, yes.
Nancy: Yes, yes.
Frank: Well, I want to know what that’s for the people who acknowledges—
Nancy: Well they may not.
Frank: —but it’s certainly—
Nancy: Yeah.
Frank: —to put it on the cover of—
Nancy: Yeah.
Frank: —whatever the—
Nancy: Sports Illustrated, yes.
Frank: —Sports Illustrated is a way of definitely demonstrating an appreciation and a respect to it.
Nancy: Yes, and the respect. Absolutely, yes.
Frank: So I thought about this a few minutes ago. You know how periodically I say my wife is—what she’s doing right now is she’s listening to this.
Nancy: Yes.
Frank: Well, hopefully if she’s listening to this week’s show, I’m—babe, remind me to ask you what size you are. Because I—
Nancy: Your wife’s tiny.
Frank: Is she?
Nancy: Yeah.
Frank: Okay.
Nancy: I don’t even think she’s a 10.
Frank: But that doesn’t even tell—okay. So less than 10? Is that what you’re telling?
Nancy: Mean not less than 10 in terms of how hot she is, just less than 10 in terms of what size are clothes are.
Frank: If I ask her what she is, she’s going to say a 10. I’m talking about the size of her whatever.
Nancy: Right. Her clothes size.
Frank: Yeah, yeah, that.
Nancy: Yeah, yeah.
Frank: Okay you got yours in. Now what I’m checking out, there’s a Kentucky law maker that put forward a bill that would require men to visit a doctor atleast twice and obtain a signed permission slip from their wives before they could get a prescription for the erectile dysfunction drug, Viagra.
Nancy: Get the wife’s permission?
Frank: Yes. Get the wife’s permission.
Nancy: Why? The implication is that he’s going to be out there…
Frank: No, no, no.
Nancy: Okay.
Frank: It’s less…
Nancy: Scandal?
Frank: Yes, yes.
Nancy: Okay.
Frank: Well, it depends. Some people wouldn’t say that it was less scandal.
Nancy: Okay, okay.
Frank: Actually, it is a protest actually. It’s protest legislation—atleast that’s my understanding of this state representative in Kentucky who’s saying it’s kind of a reverse of what men try to put on women in terms of having a woman get her husband’s permission to have a abortion. So she’s apparently not expecting—
Nancy: You don’t have to do that anymore, do you?
Frank: I don’t—
Nancy: A man doesn’t have to get his wife’s permission to have a vasectomy.
Frank: I guess not. Yeah, I mean you’re right.
Nancy: Okay. I’m just throwing it out there. I’m thinking I remember that because you know… I do know that there was a time when a woman had to get her husband’s permission even to have her tubes tied. So… I just didn’t think that that was real anymore.
Frank: And possibly, it might be because she’s saying that there’s legislation coming up to that effect. I don’t really know the ins and outs but I thought it was interesting.
Nancy: She may be trying to get retro benefits. You guys did this for so many years and now you’re going to make the back pay, yes.
Frank: She said that this bill is meant to illustrate the absurdity of government encroachment into women’s personal and medical decisions currently running a mop in the Kentucky General Assembly and the Bavin Administration, who’s the governor of Kentucky.
Nancy: Got it. Okay, okay. I see it.
Frank: Interesting. Imagine if your husband had to come to you to get a prescription for Viagra. What would you say? And I can ask you this because you’re not married. What was your—how would you receive that?
Nancy: First of all, I would be deeply disappointed that he needed Viagra.
Frank: Okay.
Nancy: First of all. And I would just—don’t even take me down that…
Frank: What? This is what we do!
Nancy: …down that tunnel. Well, it is what we do! But you know, I’m just thinking that this one’s so many different levels, right? So I’m saying okay, if we’re cultivating our sexual energy, why in the world does he need Viagra? That’s not real for me, Frank.
Frank: Who said we’re cultivating our sexual energy? How did that get interjected into the conversation?
Nancy: Because you asked me! So in the game of cultivating one’s sexual energy, Viagra should not be necessary. Now so—
Frank: Even if he can’t have a natural erection?
Nancy: Well he can’t have a natural erection because he is experiencing certain blockages in his physiology and don’t even let me get into his energy fields and centers…
Frank: Okay, okay.
Nancy: …where and God forbid, he’s been experiencing them for a protracted period of time so that now he requires a pharmaceutical. However, if that situation was approached earlier and dealt with on a more holistic level, he’d be drug-free. Atleast that drug.
Frank: Interesting. Alright.
Nancy: Trying to help you.
Frank: And what else… You said “multiple levels,” you got some other level too?
Nancy: Well I’m just saying—let’s say especially from that level. If it was approached there first, he wouldn’t need the Viagra and so if he needs Viagra, he probably was somebody else’s husband first and I got some work to do to bring him back to homeostasis.
Frank: Well alright. What she’s saying? I’m going to have to replay this so I understand all of that that she just said.
Nancy: All I’m saying is, you can meet a man who is let’s say sexually congested and if you have some understanding of the sexual arts, you can help him atleast to mitigate those, minimize those, symptoms okay? And bring him into some level of healing with which you know and can share with him.
Frank: And if you want some understanding of the sexual arts, you might want to listen to the show that we did with Master Yao—
Nancy: Oh yeah, for sure the year.
Frank: —about tantra.
Nancy: Yes, yes.
Frank: Okay. So we were able to kind of promote the show while talking about your… your response…
Nancy: Okay.
Frank: Jeff, you got anything you want to say?
Jeff: Two things. Number one, decrease testosterone in older men is not a physiological or psychological thing. It’s physical.
Nancy: Yeah.
Jeff: Maybe that is physiological. So there could be a need for that. Number two, did either of you see the Wanda Sykes HBO special last year?
Nancy: No.
Jeff: Which talks about the woman who wasn’t complaining about her husband’s broke equipment—
Nancy: Okay.
Jeff: —but then he took back and it was regenerated?
Nancy: Oh gosh. Yeah, regenerated.
Jeff: And re—
Nancy: Rejuvenated?
Jeff: Invigorated.
Nancy: Okay.
Jeff: She didn’t like it. Oh no, she thought she was done with that.
Nancy: Wow! Wow, wow.
Frank: Interesting.
Jeff: Wanda Sykes is very funny.
Nancy: She’s comical.
Jeff: That conjured up that whole scenario—
Nancy: Okay.
Jeff: —which was very funny.
Nancy: Yes.
Jeff: But to answer your question, NO. The wife has nothing to do with that.
Frank: Ah, okay.
Jeff: Approval of prescription? No.
Frank: Alright. And Nancy, I’m bringing it back to you. So…
Nancy: Should he need my permission? Absolutely not.
Frank: Okay, alright. But what do you think about reaching a certain age… and I don’t even know what that age is. As a woman reaching at a certain age and being interested or disinterested in sex?
Nancy: I don’t think that—I think that once the sexual inclinations and impulses come on line, I think that they can calm down and quiet over the course of the life. But I don’t think that there’s this period of time that you enter into where you shouldn’t be interested in sex anymore.
Frank: And what about menopause and that sort of thing?
Nancy: Menopause is a… Let me get this right… Menopause is a symptom. It occurs because of a deficiency. Now don’t ask me to get any further into it in that.
Frank: Okay.
Nancy: And hopefully, we will have the benefit of having her on the show at some point, I learned that from Dr. Jewel Pookrum. So maybe on some level no different than a man and his erectile dysfunction. Like I said, there are things that can be done to you know, menopause is one of those things in this country that is normal that doesn’t make it natural. So with something that women put up with because the pharmaceutical industry is positioned to capitalize on what occurs in a woman’s physiology that brings on those symptoms but no one’s talking about what you can do to slow the onset of menopause or to have yourself transition into another stage of life where maybe you’re mentsy stop but you don’t have to flash and night sweat and go nuts hormonally. None of that is necessary.
Frank: What about lubrication?
Nancy: That either.
Frank: Is there a difference?
Nancy: What about it?
Frank: I mean—
Nancy: You mean should that slow down either?
Frank: Yes.
Nancy: No.
Frank: Really?
Nancy: No. As a matter of fact, since it’s already hot and popular, you may as well know that there’s been a huge—I can’t even call it a resurgence in the US because I don’t know that it was ever ever popular but there is a jade egg practice that is taking the world by storm.
Frank: Jade egg?
Nancy: Yes, the jade egg is essentially a gemstone—well, not a gemstone but it’s a stone that’s typically shaped as an egg that a woman can use to exercise her yoni.
Frank: Okay.
Nancy: Her vagina.
Frank: Got you.
Nancy: And in doing that, she stimulates/activates the vessels, nerves, tendons, the muscle itself and keeps it active/alive/awake and fully functioning and lubrication is part of the fully functioning vagina.
Frank: Yes, yes.
Nancy: And she should expect that to be part of her reality throughout her life.
Frank: Yes.
Nancy: Yeah.
Frank: Okay.
Nancy: Rock n’ roll.
Frank: Rock n’ roll? I am so tempted to say something to my wife right now but I guess I’ll save that ‘til I get home.
Nancy: Hi honey.
Frank: It’s all good, babe. Today’s guest is a certified Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument practitioner. HBDI as it’s also known as a system to measure and describe thinking preferences and people. The technology has primarily been applied to businesses and fortune 100 companies but the method can be used to see ourselves in a way that’s insightful, effective, and immediately actionable.
So if you want to know the history of HBDI, how it can be used with a couple to enhance intimacy, and whether it gives insight into physical intimacy, then stay tuned as your Frank Relationships team talks about The Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument with author, in-demand international speaker and seminar leader, David Bullock. Welcome to the show, David.
David: Good morning. How are you?
Frank: Great.
David: I can’t and the most important on this day. Thank you for the introduction.
Frank: Of course.
David: You all have an interesting segment, I tell you.
Frank: Okay. What do you have to add?
David: First of all, the fact that you’re atleast having the conversation is very powerful because these are the unspoken conversation that are not occurring and that’s what’s taking us downward into a spiral of—I would call it “intimate despair.” We don’t know what to do, we rely on pharmaceuticals, we rely on someone else telling us how our lives are going to play out and for some reason, we believe that story and then play right into it. As opposed to deciding that all I can use a yoni egg or I can use meditation, or I can use some other tools to diagnose my own situation, make my own choices and then plot my own force.
Frank: Don’t tell me you know what a yoni is too.
David: Yes I do.
Frank: You use that term too?
David: God did you absolutely rolled off if I tell him?
Frank: Like nothing.
David: Like nothing. Like water.
Frank: I guess I’m just the ignorant one…
Nancy: Nooo… We’re not going for that old coy trick of yours.
Frank: Okay, alright.
Nancy: Come out of the closet.
Frank: My set question, I might as well just record this and press play on every show… But what advice can you give to a 25 year old couple that has a baby due in 2 months about HBDI?
David: Okay. The first thing I would say to that couple is congratulations and that’s great. The HBDI will actually show them how to be in communication with each other and that will definitely help with their communication as they navigate and cooperate around the new life which is coming in to play. The HBDI tool is a diagnostic tool. A lot of times when we look at relationships, a lot of it is very subjective. This is a tool they came out of GE Crotonville.
Frank: GE Crotonville, what is—?
David: Right GE. GO, I’m sorry. General Electric.
Frank: Okay.
David: Large international conglomerate. Crotonville was the training center. This is where their best teachers and leaders went to be able to go back out into the world and do what they do on business well which is manage people, create innovation and dominate business.
Frank: And GE Jack Welsh? Ain’t he the guy—?
David: Former. He was a former CEO of that conglomerate.
David: Yeah.
David: So HBDI came out of GE Crotonville. A guy named [unclear / Ned Hermitt] was the instructor there and he said “You know what, my man [unclear] better tool to be able to know how to better communicate and manage the people that they’re working with, in the group as was in the [unclear].” So this tool, I’m going to give you a little bit of history, this tool instead of one thinking preferences, there’s basically 4 quadrants and one is a data quadrant, the other is a [unclear], the other one is innovative or Y quadrant and the other is an emotional quadrant.
Now, let’s bring those quadrants back to the couple. If say the man knows his wife, thinking and data processing preferences, he will know that if he approaches her with an emotional appeal for dealing with the issue with the child, she may not listen to him. She may not be able to hear it. whereas, if he approached his spouse with something along the lines of the practicality or the data, dequalitative data of the situation, she’ll be able to hear it—that’s communication enhanced.
So they can preference it.
Frank: Like what?
David: Or the—
Frank: What is some examples because you used big words in describing it.
David: Oh wow.
Frank: Yeah, just give me some solid examples.
David: Let me give you a personal example.
Frank: Hit it.
David: My first example, when I first got with the diagnostic. So I sat down with a practitioner. Let me tell you what my thinking preferences. My thinking preference is very high on the yellow side which is innovative and/or reasons why for the future. And very high on the emotional side, okay?
Relatively medium on the process side and relatively medium on the data side, okay? That’s me in steady state, everything is fine, hunky-dory.
Frank: Okay.
David: Herrmann looked at two ways, both stressed and non-stessed. Non-stressed, you’re on your best behavior, your filters are in place and you’re going to act like you have some sense. Now, if you look at the stress side of the equation, as soon as everything goes out of the—go out and go crazy, I go way off the chart emotional, way off the chart on future planning and my data processing shrinks way in and my process ability goes way down. Which means all of the sudden, I become a stark raving lunatic based on my graph when things go crazy.
Frank: Okay.
David: Time goes away. Watch this, the practitioner sat down with me and assessed this graph and said, “Oh I see what’s going on with you. As soon as something goes bad in business, you lose your mind and all your processes go apart.” Now here it is, I’m a multi-million dollar sales person and he’s telling me that I’m a stark raving lunatic. He framed it incorrectly for me. Okay?
Now, just with that married too, I have now lost my mind and I’m going down a path of I can’t make this work because my graph said so. This lead me down the road of looking at my graph [unclear]. I went and took the course, became a practitioner. But it really told me is that when things go catastrophic, I start looking at the future as though the present doesn’t matter. I start reaching out to friends and family and those in my network and when time becomes irrelevant to me. This same data, different framing. With that new framing, I realized all I was was a very innovative, emotionally stable and connected man as opposed to the stark raving lunatic that the other gentleman had given me as a narrative.
Frank: Wow.
David: Now, that being said, these tools, these diagnostic tools they’re very practical situation tells people in black and white—for lack of the term—how they actually process data both stressed and non-stressed. Once you know how to process data, the data no longer has you, you have it. You have the situation, they don’t have you. Which means now, when the baby’s crying, the course [unclear] in, someone—your boss is now something crazy. You can say, “Oh when I’m stressed out, here’s how I typically respond” and then you can short circuit the situation and acting more with a simple objectivity.
Nancy: So you can create like new neuro pathways in how you respond to life?
David: Completely. But most people don’t know.
Nancy: Got it.
David: We don’t have matched—
Frank: Did you just–?
David: —for our thinking. So go ahead.
Frank: Did you say you were a multi0million dollar sales person?
David: I did but—
Nancy: He should have.
Frank: Can Nancy have $5?
Nancy: Don’t answer that, Dave.
David: Hey, Nancy? Send her [unclear].
Frank: Now that’s a—in some ways, I’m referencing a previous show. We talked last week about women being catcalled walking down the street and we suggested maybe when that happens to Nancy, she should turn around and ask the guy for $5. Well, that has become our $5-question so… While you’re not catcalling her, atleast I don’t think how you guys met if you’ve ever met before.
Nancy: I hope that’s not how he rolls.
Frank: I figured. Maybe you can ask him the $5-question or if somebody—David, somebody could be listening to the show and you might catcall them according to the research—I’m not saying that’s what you would do but—and she may ask you for $5. So just know where it came from if that happens.
Nancy: Exactly. And you know what else David, we were talking about—I was telling Frank and Jeff on the way over that, I was just kind of turning over in my mind, this idea that some point in time in a person’s life, they have to get past this idea of recovering. You have to stop recovering all the time and start leaping—
Frank: To new places.
Nancy: Oh gosh. It’s not coming to me. To leap a tall building in a single bounce. So it’s really—
Frank: You know Superman can actually fly. Why does he leap tall buildings? Like what’s—?
Nancy: Because sometimes you know…
Frank: If you can fly. You don’t have to leap over a building. You just fly.
Nancy: But you need—you don’t need to blow the wings all the time if you can leap, leap.
Frank: Okay.
Nancy: You got different skills, you got to exercise more.
Frank: I digress.
Nancy: Right. So…
Frank: You know there’s a movie coming out Superman vs. Batman?
Nancy: Oh I’m so not wanting to see that.
Frank: Batman might have to well…
Nancy: Well you’re a Marvel lover right, Dave?
David: I am.
Nancy: More of a character lover.
David: I am.
Nancy: Would you go see Superman and—versus Batman?
David: Yeah, you know that in the real world, Superman would just kill Batman and that there wouldn’t be very much too talk about. I mean, come on now.
Nancy: But why would good guys harm each other?
Frank: There are no good people.
David: Ego. That’s called ego. The ego gets them to play.
Nancy: Oh, I got it.
David: At the end of the day, that’s all it is.
Nancy: I hear you.
Frank: There are no good and bad people. There’s gradience. There’s people’s got stuff going on and see, I disagree. I read the Dark Knight series and they came out 30 years ago. In fact, I have the first print—yeah. I mean, why are we talking about this?
Nancy: HBDI. We’re finding our way…
Frank: You know green arrow…
Nancy: Where your brain is dominant.
Frank: Right, right. Green arrow and [unclear] shot Batman with a Kryptonite—no, shot Superman with a Kryptonite arrow and then Batman beat him up. So it’s not necessarily in the real world—I mean we’re talking about a fake world and a real world. I digress. We don’t want to waste your time any longer, David.
Nancy: We’re coming back, Dave. We’re reeling it back in.
Frank: Okay. What’s a personal narrative design?
David: Well first on there, back to the HBDI when you get your chart done, this is your narrative. This is how you think, stressed and non-stressed. So once you see your design, you can start developing a narrative, a story around it and you’re [unclear] question yourself—has this been serving me? And if so, how? And if it’s not serving me, what can I do differently?
The nice thing about like the HBDI, because it can be used for both individuals and groups. You can do an individual, a pair like a spouse and the couple that you talked to early on or you can do a grouping. You can actually see that the brain, the thinking of a group. And then you can have an individual narrative, there’s a story that I’m finding myself in and [unclear]. He has the group’s narrative while he has the pair’s narrative. So you may [unclear] look at each other and say, “Here’s why I get along with Sam,” or “here’s why I don’t get along with Suzy.”
Frank: Got it. And what do you—how did you get here from the business side to discussing it on the interpersonal side? How did you do it? What’s your story?
David: Well, I was in business. I’m in business running a company and this assessment was part of coming to a particular group. They wanted to know everyone’s profile.
Frank: Okay.
David: And I came into it because I said that I’m in my [unclear] I said [unclear] that I was completely devastated by the assessment that this gentleman who had a particular set of filters that didn’t match mine. I’ll put it to you like this—he looked a little bit different. He was from a different cultural construct and I could see that he was speaking to me through filters that “Oh, you’ll never make it.”
Now I’m grown. I’ve already done 300 million dollars worth of sales when I’m running another company and then he’s telling me how it’s going to be based on his little piece of paper. I became interested. But what I found is that instead of looking at it for business, I sort of said well, how is this impacting me, my relationships, how I’m relating to myself, more importantly how I respond under stress, much with how to be with my father, my mother, my brothers. And I said, “Wait a minute. This is not just a business tool. This is a personal diagnostic and assessment tool unless I had the significant emotional event. This thing is how I’m processing data. This is how I process my life. It took me down a way that I was able to unearth a lot of my [unclear] and my own personal demon because I had a road map.
Nancy: Nice.
Frank: And talk to the men of the world. If you have a group of five men sitting in front of you and clearly you do have this tool to rely upon that you have used, what can you help them extract? Where can you take them with it?
David: Well, first of all, the thing that I’ve noticed is that men/we have a cultural scotoma with the idea of emotion, feeling, thinking and feeling for ourself and for those we care about. We think based on what we’ve been told that that’s not important. That is probably one of the most important pieces that we have available to us to be able to listen and/or speak impassively and/or with empathy with those around us. So a lot—
Frank: And that’s not just with women. That’s with other men too, right?
David: That’s with men.
Frank: Yeah.
David: And what I found is that thinking is thinking. Thinking does not have a [unclear] device. It’s just it is what it is. You process data, you feel this way, you think this way, you look at things the certain way. What I found is that, men just shut down emotionally which means they can’t unless they do not can’t—they are not willing to listen because they’ve been told not to.
Frank: Okay.
David: So then when you get a man who’s profile shows that he is emotional, immediately the first thing is you get a push back, like “I’m not emotional.”
Frank: There’s nothing wrong with being emotional or having them.
David: There’s nothing wrong and better yet, right. If you have them and they don’t have you then that means that you can actually connect with, first of all, yourself—your own emotions, your own feelings because you have them. And then you can better connect with those around you and guess what? That opens up lines of communication.
Frank: And connection.
David: Because you—and connection. Because the only time that you actually have true communication with someone is when you can experience what they’re experiencing it, the way they’re experiencing it so you can say “Hmm I know how you feel,” and then you can take them anywhere you want to go but you got to start where they are.
Frank: Got it.
David: So that’s what I give with men. [unclear] keeping it on the other side.
Frank: Yeah, what would you say to women exactly.
David: When I see women’s profile and they may be high and [unclear], very how they’re quantitative and/or process oriented. They’re like, “Hmm those are like men tree, logical, very A to B,” and that’s how everything. They say “Well, that doesn’t work for me.” I’m like, “Wait a minute. If you’re trying to bake a cake, or your trying to get from point A to point B, that does work for you.” There’s no gender bias for getting [unclear] and getting things done. Look at the data, process it accordingly and go from thinking to do doing to having at any given time.
So again, it’s so interesting when you get the profile back and people are surprised that who they thought they were is not how they’re showing up into themselves.
Frank: So it might be the case where a woman saying that a man is so—whatever you just said—is that a form of—
Nancy: Metrosexual?
Frank: Oh man.
Nancy: Did you hear this? He’s not feeling it either.
Frank: Okay, alright. Should I just trash that question?
David: No come one with it. [Unclear]
Frank: When a woman says a man is being too something—manly or—
Nancy: Soft, effeminate?
Frank: But none of that. He was going to the other direction.
Nancy: Okay. Oh like—
Frank: Is that a form of her being like a man? Or whatever she’s saying a man is doing…
Nancy: She may be well go ahead Dave I can’t answer that…
David: Well she may be expressing her preference. Here’s what I found, this is personal now. Oh gosh, here we go—
Frank: Let it out.
David: A man can only and should be a man. This is my opinion and what is based on my experience. A man can and only should be a man when he embraces the fact that he is also—he has [unclear] “women lead tendency and/or energies” meaning he may be empathetic (that’s womanly), compassionate (that’s womanly), he may be attention to detail, may care about helping, look including himself. See, that’s really okay because that means he’s balanced. Too many times what you see and it’s actually your profile that I’m seeing where everything is 100% and truly balanced. The action graph shows up to be a square. That means the person [unclear] process-oriented, future-oriented and empathetic at the same time. That means that person’s balanced but they may find it hard to function in the world because they can’t latch on to anything. They can be anyone at any given time in any situation based on the adaptation at that moment. That’s actually a good thing but that person may find themselves slowly.
Nancy: Because….
David: Because they’re not man and they’re not woman, and they don’t think like men and they don’t think like a woman. But they are the most effective leaders that you will ever find because they can be present in the moment—
Frank: With everybody.
David: Right. And not be pulled back into a preference that doesn’t serve them in the moment.
Nancy: And because we live in a cultural framework construct but that’s not exactly supported, that person can kind of feel… in the wind?
David: From personal experience, that person is typically seen as a genius. Leonardo da Vinci type and they can do anything at any time, be anyone at any given time—
Nancy: But they’re hard to nail down.
David: Yeah, hard to nail down.
Frank: That’s what Nancy was just saying about me.
Nancy: If ever there was a balanced man. Go on Dave.
Frank: Go on, Nancy.
Nancy: Get us out of this mess.
Frank: Tell him what you said. Over my recollection was “Frank, you are like da Vinci. You are just a genius.”
Nancy: da Vinci, Jobs, you know…
Frank: Yeah.
Nancy: The litany of the genius type…
Frank: I don’t want to go to far before we went to the studio, Dave.
Nancy: He’s trying to keep it. Trying to keep it under [unclear]. Okay.
Frank: You were trying to keep it under [unclear]. I’m letting it out.
Nancy: He’s letting it out. He’s going public.
Frank: Yeah.
Nancy: So… Okay, so you’re saying that—so what I’m hearing is that they have profound value to the community at large but you can’t nail them down.
David: Right. And it’s not like [unclear] in our culture trying to pitch and hold and/or categorize.
Nancy: Yes.
David: You’re this.
Nancy: Yes.
David: You’re this type of person. And a lot of times—case on point—I am classically trained engineer which means I’m very logically rigid—you know, processing data-oriented but my chart shows that I’m high emotional and highly innovative. Now, technically those two situations shouldn’t be in the same body. I’m classically trained this way but I show up this way which means… So how do you nail some of that type of classical training but basically fighting their profile—you can’t. They can do anything. If you look again, we didn’t get into my bio but engineer, author, speaker, businessman on this side—okay fine. I can sing, I can play the guitar, okay. I play with animals, I deal with children. That shouldn’t exist but it’s okay. The thing is, my profile showed me that here’s what you’re up to, here’s what you’re doing and guess what? This is what it is and it’s okay.
Frank: So what you’re saying is you’re better than me?
David: No. No, no. What I’m saying is that everyone’s signature, the uniqueness makes them better than everyone else on the planet and embrace that.
Frank: Okay. O you’re saying you’re not better than me, you’re better than Nancy?
Nancy: No, he’s saying he’s not better, he’s different.
Frank: Okay.
Nancy: And so are you.
David: Yeah. And it depends on your [unclear].
Frank: Okay.
David: Yeah I’ll put it to you like this Frank, it also goes back to depending on criteria. At one point, being [unclear] or materially-oriented, if that’s your benchmark, then maybe you’re better than this person [unclear]. But if you’re in a situation where someone is in front of you crying and you don’t know enough to get out a handkerchief and give them a kind word, in that case, you’re not better than me.
Nancy: That’s heavy.
David: You don’t know what to do in that moment.
Frank: What I really hear you saying is you’re not going to let me bait you into…
Nancy: Saying he’s better than me? Because it was being absurd notion.
Frank: We’re talking with certified Hermmann Brain Dominance Instrument practitioner David Bullock. HBDI is a system to measure and describe thinking preferences in people. Please, David, would you tell our listeners what you’re up to and how they can find you.
David: Well, what I’m up to is working with many people as possible in business and persons with this assessment. You can find me directly at DavidBullock.com. The best way for this show to get up with me—if you want to know more about this then we can schedule a conversations to see what the [unclear / state] would be. Send me an email to david@davidbullock.com and then in the subject line—go ahead, Frank…
Frank: Spell “Bullock”?
David: B-U-L-L-O-C-K. Let me give you the email address again. It’s david@davidbullock.com and in the subject line, put “HBDI FRANK” in the subject line. In that way, it would standout to me and I’ll be sure to get back. Just leave me your email address and phone number and I’ll give you a call back and see if it is something that we want to move forward with.
Frank: Does that email automatically trigger some type of payment system where I get my kickback?
David: You know what? Under the honest system known as Nancy [unclear].
Nancy: Absolutely.
Frank: Okay.
Nancy: There are advantages in this membership as its privileges my friend.
Frank: What are your thoughts on the Myers-Briggs and how do the two correlate or—
Nancy: Or do they?
Frank: —how they’re different?
Nancy: Yeah.
David: Okay, I’ll go further than that. Myers-Briggs, you have [unclear / Kobe], you have a lot of a set to consider out there. Some of them are actually personality a set. This is not a personality set. This is thinking preference set. So your personality can change over time. [Unclear / Kobe] is situational, meaning situations change basically you in this job versus that job. You’re in leadership versus being a follower. Those assessments, there is overlap—again, this one checks thinking preferences.
Nancy: But doesn’t thinking change?
David: Well, thinking is an odd thing. Let me say it this way.
Frank: Tell me about it.
David: You’re thinking for the first several years of your life, okay, you’re thinking is pretty much set. Unless you have a significant emotional experience, the way you see your world does not change. Here’s the thing—experience has you maybe react to, the situation is differently or the way that you prefer. Again, prefer to get the information typically doesn’t change.
Frank: Okay.
David: While you would prefer to have hard data versus an emotional appeal. You would prefer to have someone speak to the future besides telling you how they want to do it. Those things really don’t change. Let me just speak to something that just came up in my mind as I was saying this. From an intimacy standpoint, especially physical intimacy say within for a couple, when you know that your spouse or your lover wants to know how you’re going to make love to them, what the new [unclear] is going to be, what’s the music going to be… They want to have the experience—that’s one thinking preference. That’s one experiential preference.
If one wants to speak to what is the apparatus? What is the time? What is the date? So then you’re speaking to either a tantric conversation or even a [unclear] conversation, that is very different than the environment. Now you’re talking about process/procedure. Or you may have someone who’s saying “I’m more interested in the emotional healing piece of the encounter.” That’s a whole different person then you have another segment who’s saying, you know based on the intimacy or the encounter, I want to create a future with you.
So see those are four different goals within the encounter and knowing those preferences allow you to know how to approach your situation differently so that you get what you want but more importantly, they get what they want. Because marriage is a matter of giving as opposed to receiving the experience.
Frank: You got a recommended book for anyone who wants to learn more?
David: Actually, the only book that was written on this is for business.
Frank: Got it.
David: This piece that I’m doing here is based on looking at this again a little bit differently. Let me tell you, I use this tool when I first [unclear] and I can use it as a screening mechanism because as a consultant, I wanted to know how to better speak to my client and also to weed out the ones that I would have a hard time connecting with. That’s the screening mechanism.
Nancy: Sounds like you need to do the re-write there or what do you call it? The next generation book on it.
David: That’s a possibility if I can find the time.
Nancy: I hear ya.
David: That’s something we can work on.
Frank: Nancy.
Nancy: Yes?
Frank: You ready for Tamiko’s—you ready for Miko’s Money Matter for the—
Nancy: Oh I am. I am. Yes, we’ll see her.
Frank: Alright. Tamiko, what do you got?
Tamiko: Are your overdraft fees more than your savings deposit? Consumers pay $42 billion on overdraft a year. [unclear] loans are convenient but with 400% interest freights, poor planning and irresponsible spending is costing us money, health and happiness. It is time to wake up.
Here are four signs that your spending is out of control and needs an adjustment:
1. You’re paying overdraft for late fees. If you’re writing checks and you might need to cover them is not in your account, you’re more than likely going to incur an overdraft fee. Your spending behavior needs an adjustment.
2. You live pay check to pay check and have no caution. For unexpected expense, such as an appliance or car repair will put your bank account on the red, our spending behavior needs an adjustment.
3. You wear or drive your wealth. If you invest your disposal income and liabilities that depreciate like clothes and cars instead of investing your future and your security, your spending behavior needs an adjustment.
4. You often borrow money from relative, friends or other sources. Did you know by frequently borrowing money from others you’re transferring your responsibility to them? Possibly creating tension and stress in your relationship. And pay day and cards how to loans are even worst. Borrowing to pay bills is a tell-tale sign that you are in financial trouble.
If you need help adjusting your spending behavior, call me, Miko, at 202-695-2404 or you can visit me in my website MikosMoneyMatters.com. Remember, it’s never too late to rescue your financial future.
Frank: Thanks, Miko. We’re talking with certified Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument practitioner, David Bullock. HBDI is a system to measure and describe thinking preferences in people. David, one last time, please tell our listeners what you’re up to and how they can find you.
David: I’m up to working with people to find out what their thinking preferences are so that they can better navigate their businesses, their lives and their relationships. You can find me at DavidBullock.com and if you want to get to me, please send me an email at david@davidbullock.com with “HBDI FRANK” in the subject line and we’d make sure to schedule a consultation with you to see what we can do to help you in your situation.
Frank: Along today’s journey, we discussed how we act when stressed and non-stressed, the history of HBDI and our filters. I hope you’ve had as much fun and has been as educated as I’ve been while learning about The Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument with David Bullock.
As always, it’s my wish for you to walk away from this conversation with a heaping helping of useful information that I hope you create a relation that’s as loving and accepting as possible.
Let us know what you think of today’s show at facebook.com/relationshipflove, on Twitter at @mrfranklove or at franklove.com. If you’re listening via Blog Talk Radio, make sure you like us there and if via iTunes, make sure you subscribe so that you can receive each week’s show each week.
This is Frank love.
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