Recognizing the value of both partners is the key to a healthy, meaningful relationship.
In my previous post, “Teens—Your Parents May Be Oversharing,” we discussed how misplaced emotional burdens can create unnecessary stress for teens.
One of the most powerful truths we can embrace in relationships is this: We need each other. Whether it’s in romantic partnerships, friendships, or family dynamics, our ability to thrive is directly tied to how well we work together, support one another, and recognize each other’s value. We are not meant to do life alone, nor are we meant to approach our connections with a spirit of individual superiority.
The “I Am the Prize” Mentality
There’s a popular saying floating around social media and everyday conversations: “I am the prize.” It’s usually meant to promote self-worth and confidence. And on the surface, there’s nothing wrong with affirming your value. But when this mindset is expressed in relationships, especially in ways that diminish the other person, it becomes problematic.
When one partner believes they alone are the prize, it creates imbalance. It becomes less about mutual love and more about being adored, served, or validated by the other. That’s not partnership; it’s more along the lines of boasting and comparing. Being loving doesn’t work that way.
We Are Both the Prize
It’s one thing to recognize our own worth. It’s another thing entirely to use it to feel superior in a relationship. Healthy relationships are built on reciprocity, mutual respect, and appreciation. That means seeing your partner as a prize too. It means understanding that just as you bring something beautiful, meaningful, and important to the relationship, so do they.
When both partners show up recognizing mutual value, magic happens. There’s no need for one person to dominate or constantly remind the other of their importance. Instead, we share and demonstrate gratitude and generosity. We create love that flows in both directions.
The Danger of One-Sided Value
When we enter a relationship thinking we’re the primary person of value, it’s a red flag, as we’re likely to dismiss our partner’s needs, ignore their contributions, and diminish their role.
That thinking is a problem for everyone involved. Relationships built on ego instead of taking care of one another often fall apart. The person who feels unappreciated may leave or become a shell of themself, just to preserve a relationship that doesn’t honor them.
The Call to Mutual Appreciation
If you’ve ever said or thought, “Next time I’m in a relationship, I’m going to make sure I get everything I want because I’m the prize,” stop for a moment. Take a breath. Ask yourself, What would happen if I entered that next (or existing) relationship thinking, I am a prize . . . and so is my partner?
This small shift changes everything. It invites us to celebrate our worth, while also holding space to celebrate our partner’s. It opens the door for partnership, not self-importance. And it creates the kind of connection where both people can feel seen, valued, and supported.
A Love Worth Striving For
Being loving isn’t about elevating ourself above our partner. It’s much more about recognizing that we’re both valuable, both flawed, and both deserving of compassion and care. When we let go of the need to be “the” prize and instead embrace being “a” prize, part of a duo that is richer together, we begin to experience relationships that are rooted in humility and joy.
Yes, you are the prize. Your partner is too. And the sooner we all start seeing each other that way, the better our relationships will be.
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Watch my video I Am the Prize Related to this blog.
Keep Rising,
Frank Love
Creating a Loving Culture in Our Relationships
