BlogRelationships Are Transactional – God

Relationships Are Transactional—God

Our ongoing conversation with God can provide good advice to help us in our loving relationships.

In my previous blog, “The Power of Uncles,” we discussed how paternal success requires the support of a wide circle of men in our lives.

I wrote this blog after writing the blog that will be published next week, “Relationships Are Transactional—Partner.” After writing that blog I shared it with a good friend. Upon reading it, she said, “Something is missing. Before we are having a transaction with our partner, we get to have a transaction with God. There is a way that we are all called to be that is not about a give-and-take with others but simply because we are called to do so by God. It’s a give-and-take with God.”

Our Conversation with God Is Ongoing

Each of us are in a loving conversation with God all the time. It doesn’t stop. The voice may be louder at times. It may be persistently low key. It may also be vehemently in our face. However, this conversation that offers each of us love and guidance is being had.

One of the most humbling elements of the conversation with God is how easy it is to ignore. There is little if any energy needed to ignore what we hear or sense. We can easily ignore praying. We can neglect to visit our house of worship or fail to celebrate on special religious holidays with no movement at all. But that guiding God conversation will persist.

In addition to ignoring opportunities to listen and/or praise (however that looks for you), many of us have mastered blaming others when we decide to ignore or delay the message or calling that we are gifted from God. We turn our backs on the way of being that we are hearing and blame our back turning on the actions of someone else.

We hear:

• “Be peaceful,” but resolve ourselves to being unable to do so because our partner raised their voice at us.
• “Be persistent,” but resolve ourselves to being stifled by the attitudes or dispositions of our coworkers.
• “Be quiet,” but resolve ourselves to needing to speak up for ourselves.

Listen for Your God Conversation—Everywhere

These beautiful and sagacious voices from God can come from a multitude of places. All of them share good intentions for us. They can come when we are quiet. They can arise in recurring conversations that seem unconnected. They can show up in the mishaps that occur in the lives of people around us. They can even appear in a prophecy that was delivered to your parents when you were born. The list of the many ways God gives us counsel is endless.

Yet when we actively don’t listen, which feels passive, we are in the midst of a significant betrayal. Ignoring God’s voice is failing the transactional nature of our relationship with God and ourselves.  If that relationship involves each of us receiving nuggets of wisdom that are meant to guide us towards being our higher self, then we get to listen.

Hearing and Heeding God’s Wisdom

If listening and executing are issues let us:

1. Acknowledge that we are having a conversation with God all the time.
2. Plant a few seeds around us by telling a few trusted individuals in our lives what we are being called to do. We can also put a few note cards around our space that remind us of the message(s) we are being given. Journaling is also an important option. We can write down the messages we are receiving and read and reread them.
3. Step forward. Once we get clear that we are being called, let’s take at least one step toward that goal. It can be one step a day or per week but take the step.
4. Finally, maintain your focus. Let’s not get distracted by thinking that other people can take us off our course. Our biggest enemy is ourselves. When we are clear about the power of our intention and focus, we will be able to fulfill the God conversation. When we are not clear, let’s understand that the failure in the conversation is ours.

Our services to our partner are often not exercised because of something that they have done or are doing for us. Instead, they are often based on a satisfying understanding of ourselves, our mission, and our God-directives.

 When our partner doesn’t respond the way we want them to or wish they would, it may not matter because we were not doing the service for them in the first place. We were doing it for us, as a requirement for us to fulfill a basic relationship we have with God (and ourselves).

Putting Our Relationship with God First

Moving forward, before defaulting to focusing on and reacting to our perceptions related to the transactional nature of our relationship with our partner and the people who are in our lives, let’s first get clear about the transactional nature between each of us and God. We may not be doing the service for the other person. We may be doing it for ourselves.  And the gifts that we receive may not be from the people that we gave to. It may be from someone that appears randomly, who is listening to the message that they are receiving.

Keep Rising,

Frank Love

Watch Frank Love’s presentation “The Act of Caring.”

Subscribe to receive Frank’s weekly blog.

Become a sponsor of Frank Love and his work creating a loving cultures in our relationships with a monthly contribution of as little as $2. Sign up today at Patreon,com/FrankLove.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Each week, Frank Love hosts Zoom support group meetings that assist women and men as we work to create a loving culture in our relationships. Calls occur from 7:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. EST and can be accessed by visiting FrankWeeklyCall.com.

• Tuesdays – Black Women: Creating a Loving Culture in Our Relationships
• Thursdays – Black Men: Creating a Loving Culture in Our Relationships

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Frank Love coaches individuals who are in (or wish to be in) a relationship toward creating a loving culture in their family. He is also the author of Relationship Conversations You Don’t Want to Have (But Should Anyway) and 25 Ways to Be Loving. To schedule a free consultation, contact Frank at Frank@FrankLove.com.