Encouraging children to connect with elders today leads to stronger family bonds tomorrow.
In my previous blog post, “My Reaction Is Not the Problem,” we discussed how growth occurs when we take responsibility for our actions—and reactions.
One of the most meaningful things we can do in our families is so simple that it’s easy to overlook: encourage our children to call their grandparents.
Connecting Our Children With Our Elders
When I was a kid, my grandfather and I would talk on the phone often. I believe it meant something to him. I suspect those calls made him happy. They made me happy too. There was a warmth, a connection that reached across generations. He passed away when I was just twelve. I treasure those moments.
Today we live in an era of constant digital communication. Our children are on their phones constantly, messaging friends, watching videos, scrolling endlessly. They know how to reach anyone at any time. But how often do we guide them to use that power to reach back to the people who paved the way for them?
Encouraging Outreach
I’m not suggesting we guilt our children into calling their grandparents. I’m asking us to plant the seed. Introduce a gentle routine—maybe on the ride to school, or during some quiet part of the day. Encourage them: Pick a grandparent. Call them. Just say hi. Ask them how they’re doing. That one small act can mean the world to an elder.
Of course, not every family situation is perfect. Some grandparents may not be present, healthy, or even safe to engage with. Family dynamics can be complicated, and not all grandparents have earned the title with love. But if you are blessed with parents and/or in-laws who are good grandparents—who love your children and want to be part of their lives—nurture that bond. Help it grow.
A Family Investment
Helping our children connect with their grandparents is more than a kind gesture, it’s an investment in family. It’s a way of strengthening the lineage that your children come from. It’s a way to deepen their understanding of where they come from and who they are. When children build relationships with their elders, they absorb stories, values, and a sense of continuity that no textbook or social media post can offer.
And here’s another layer to consider, this isn’t just about your parents. It’s also about your spouse’s parents. This is about teaching your children to care for all their grandparents, to love and acknowledge the entire village that supports them. It’s a small but powerful way of weaving families together. It shows your partner that you care about their parents too. It’s a form of mutual care, of showing up for each other across generations.
Think of it as cross-pollination: your children calling your partner’s parents, your partner encouraging your children to call yours. In doing so, you’re nurturing not just individual relationships but an entire family ecosystem. You’re modeling connection, compassion, and consistency.
Caring Today, Caring Tomorrow
And perhaps the most profound thing? You’re showing your children what love and care for elders look like. You’re planting seeds today that may grow into habits of care tomorrow. One day, you may be the grandparent, hoping for a phone call. And you’ll have given your children a foundation that makes them more likely to promote their children picking up the phone and saying hey to their grandad and grandma.
This isn’t about enforcing rules or creating rigid schedules. It’s about opening a door. About saying this matters. And letting that message gently take root.
Small Request, Big Return
The next time you’re driving your kids somewhere, or sitting down together for a quiet moment, try this: “Hey, have you talked to Grandma lately? Why don’t you give her a call?” It might feel like a small thing. But to that grandparent on the other end of the line, it could mean a lot.
Call your grandparents. Have your children call theirs. The wisdom, love, and stories of our elders deserve to be heard while they can still be shared. Let’s not wait until it’s too late.
In my next blog, “The New Car (Crash),” I will look at how partner problems around family decision-making present an opportunity to take responsibility.
Watch my video Call Your Grandparents: A Simple Gesture That Means the World Related to this blog.
Watch Frank Love’s presentation “The Act of Caring.”
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Each week, Frank Love hosts Zoom support group meetings that assist women and men as we work to create a loving culture in our relationships. Calls occur from 7:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. EST and can be accessed by visiting FrankWeeklyCall.com.
- Tuesdays – Black Women: Creating a Loving Culture in Our Relationships
- Thursdays – Black Men: Creating a Loving Culture in Our Relationships
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Frank Love coaches individuals who are in (or wish to be in) a relationship toward creating a loving culture in their family. He is also the author of Relationship Conversations You Don’t Want to Have (But Should Anyway) and 25 Ways to Be Loving. To schedule a free consultation, contact Frank at Frank@FrankLove.com.
