How this streaming series highlights the worst parental behaviors to steer away from.
In my previous blog post, “My Father Didn’t Drink,” we discussed being present and intentional in the examples we set for our daughters.
*** Spoiler Alert ***
In the series Yellowstone, the Dutton family embodies generational obligations, loyalty—and a legacy of dysfunction. At the core of many of their interpersonal breakdowns is John Dutton, the family patriarch. Though revered and feared, John’s style of fathering is steeped in stoicism, dominance, and silence. He raises his children to protect the land but fails to protect their emotional well-being. In his paternal approach, he models a narrow form of masculinity—one that leads to emotional illiteracy and broken relationships.
Perhaps the clearest example of this failure is his children Beth and Jamie’s lifelong conflict, which in one way or another spans the entire series. It begins when Beth, as a teenager, finds herself pregnant. But the silence or tension in their home is so strong that she doesn’t feel she can tell her father. Instead, she confides in her brother Jamie, who’s also just a kid. Jamie tries to help the best way he knows how, but the result is tragic. He takes her to a Native American clinic where she undergoes a procedure that results in permanent sterilization. She can never have children.
Children Forced to Parent Children
This moment is pivotal—and painful. Beth and Jamie were teens, unequipped to make life-altering decisions for one another. But they were left on their own within a vacuum of guidance. Jamie’s decision was harmful, yes, but it was also born of desperation and immaturity. He wasn’t an adult; he was just the only person Beth felt she could turn to. And Beth? She internalized the pain and rage, directing it toward Jamie for the rest of their lives.
Meanwhile, John never gets to the bottom of it. He notices the tension, but instead of digging deeper, he tells Jamie to leave Beth alone. No inquiry. No healing. No responsibility.
This is his failure in fathering. It’s not just about what John did or didn’t say—it’s about what he failed to create: a welcoming space for vulnerability, truth, and reconciliation.
Truth and Reconciliation: The Missed Opportunity
There’s a powerful theme in the final season of Yellowstone—one that revolves around release, truth, and ultimately freedom. When the Duttons return stolen land, John’s son Kayce cries because he is free, not just from the burdens of the land but from the generational expectations, the unspoken rules, and the emotional cages they’ve all lived in. Even Beth, hardened and traumatized, is thankful. That moment is what truth and reconciliation look like: admission of harm, a desire to make it right, and emotional liberation.
But that moment of resolution doesn’t extend to Beth’s relationship with Jamie. Their conflict, born of pain and poor parenting, remains unresolved. And John Dutton never steps into the role of peacemaker or healer. He remains focused on ranch operations, on legacy, on the next fight. He does not focus on the healing that could have saved his family.
When Love Isn’t Enough
In many ways, Jamie is a tragic figure: adopted, loyal, ambitious, and constantly feeling as though he is on the outside. The Duttons love him, but it’s a love with conditions. He’s “one of them” until he isn’t. When he discovers he’s adopted, the fracture is complete. Rather than support him in this identity crisis, the family treats him like a traitor for having questions, for needing more.
Beth is merciless. She punishes him not only for the hysterectomy but also for simply existing. And when she attacks him physically, John doesn’t intervene in any meaningful way. He warns Jamie not to hit her, but doesn’t dig into why there’s so much rage between them.
Fathers get to protect their children from others, from the world, and sometimes from themselves. John doesn’t do that. He leaves them to figure it out, and in the process, they destroy each other.
Preparing Children for Life—Not Just Land
John Dutton prepared his children to go to war, to protect the ranch, to fight enemies, to stay tough. But he didn’t prepare them to love, to forgive, or to heal. He didn’t prepare them for life. He raised soldiers, not family members. And that’s a cautionary tale for any parent who thinks their job is just to provide or protect without nurturing the heart.
Fathers can embrace the duty to raise children who can love each other, care for each other, and navigate life with more than just toughness. The Dutton kids inherited land, but not peace; power without healing; and they inherited legacy, but not an important manifestation of love.
Conclusion: Let This Be a Warning
First, fathers get to be people that their children (in this case daughters) can talk to about anything. Serious issues and problems emerge in most of our lives; and at different stages of them. Let’s pay attention to the disharmony in our homes and amongst our family members when the issues are small so that there is a culture of sharing when issues grow larger. A teenage girl like Beth who only feels comfortable talking to her teenage brother, most likely, has not been given an opportunity to be comforted when mistakes were made or when she was vulnerable or uncertain in the past. Let’s smile at, laugh with, and hug our children when they screw up, at least sometimes.
Second, it is important to care about the disease, the causes, when there is a problem. Not only the symptoms. As long as the noted siblings weren’t physically fighting then the patriarch John Dutton didn’t care that much about the acrimony between them. He missed a genuine opportunity to get to the bottom of what these two were struggling with. If our children are bickering, let’s work to get to the bottom of the issue(s). Then, let’s work to resolve the issue. These siblings needed the love and leadership of their father well into their adulthood. Dad could have made a tremendous difference in the outcome of this family’s dynamic, especially as the series came to a head.
The tragedies in Yellowstone aren’t just in the bloodshed or betrayal—they’re in the emotional casualties created by poor parenting. The series is a masterclass in how silence, pride, and failure to address trauma can poison generations.
Let this be a warning: Raising children without emotional support, without conversation, and without accountability—all are ways of leaving them flawed and vulnerable. John Dutton nurtured and maintained an empire—but he lost his family in the process. And while it took strength to create and sustain success, it ultimately ended in a parenting failure.
Keep Rising,
Frank Love
Watch my video Yellowstone: A Failure in Fathering Related to this blog.
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Frank Love coaches individuals who are in (or wish to be in) a relationship toward creating a loving culture in their family. He is also the author of Relationship Conversations You Don’t Want to Have (But Should Anyway) and 25 Ways to Be Loving. To schedule a free consultation, contact Frank at Frank@FrankLove.com.
