Looking closely at why we travel can help us check in on the state of our everyday lives.
In my previous blog post, “100 Percent Emotional Responsibility,” we looked at adjusting perspectives, reconsidering reactions, and making choices to improve our relationship experience.
Travel is often seen as one of life’s greatest pleasures. We romanticize it, glorify it, and flood our social media feeds with images of exotic destinations, stunning landscapes, and vibrant cultures. The travel industry reinforces this idea, constantly promoting the notion that happiness lies in getting away.
But what if, for some, travel is more than just a hobby or a way to experience new places? What if, instead of exploration, it becomes a form of escape—a crutch to avoid our familiar and maybe flawed life at home? Our children? Our partner?
When Travel Becomes a Form of Avoidance
This thought first struck me years ago during a conversation on the importance of fostering love in Black relationships. A sister spoke up, reflecting on her past travels. She admitted that she had once been an avid traveler, constantly on the move, only to realize later that she wasn’t traveling just for enjoyment—she was running. Travel had become a form of avoidance, a way to escape challenges and responsibilities rather than face them.
That conversation stayed with me. It resurfaced recently while I was speaking with someone who also loved to travel. As I helped them work through personal issues, I gently suggested that their frequent trips might not just be about adventure.
“Could it be,” I asked, “that travel is serving as an escape from the mundane life you’re living at home.
Their reaction was immediate—and not pleasant. They dismissed the idea outright, saying I had made it up and had no basis for my claim. Rather than debate, I encouraged them to look into it for themselves.
I did the same.
The Hidden Psychological Dangers of Travel
In my search, I came across an article by Irene Vargheese on Medium titled, “The Hidden Psychological Dangers of Travel: When Escapism Becomes an Addiction.” Vargheese, a former full-time solo traveler, reflects on her own experiences and questions whether the thrill of travel can become an unhealthy dependence. She compares it to a psychedelic experience—stimulating, mind-altering, and temporarily liberating, yet potentially addictive.
She explains that the brain’s response to new places is powerful. When we enter a foreign environment, our senses are overwhelmed with novelty, triggering a rush of pleasurable excitement. The brain gets caught up in processing the new surroundings and, for a moment, the stressors of everyday life fade into the background.
But just like any high, the effect wears off. And for some, the craving for that next rush leads to an endless cycle of travel, not for exploration, but for escape.
Vargheese highlights an important point: relying on travel to reset your brain or avoid stress can prevent you from developing emotional resilience. If you’re constantly running away from discomfort, you may never learn to sit with it, process it, and grow through it. Over time, this avoidance can lead to even greater dissatisfaction because no matter how far you go, the challenges you’re running from will still be waiting for you when you return.
The Industry’s Role in Travel Addiction
If we examine the way travel is marketed, it’s no surprise that many people associate happiness with getting away. Think about the commercials for Caribbean vacations, the glossy ads promoting tropical resorts, or the influencer culture that makes global travel look like the ultimate achievement. These images reinforce the belief that life is best lived elsewhere—that the key to fulfillment is not in improving the life you have but in temporarily stepping away from it.
But the reality is, travel is only a temporary reprieve.
There’s nothing wrong with travel itself. I enjoy it and do it often. But I also love home. I love the life I’ve built and the peace I feel in my own space. Home is my paradise.
A Lesson from an Elder
I brought this conversation to an elder I deeply respect, a psychologist with years of wisdom. When I shared my thoughts on travel as a form of escapism, he chuckled and said, “Oh boy, you start stuff. You’re going to get in trouble for that one.”
Maybe I will. But I believe it’s a conversation worth having.
Not everyone who travels is running from something, but it’s important to ask ourselves:
- Am I traveling to enrich my life, or am I avoiding something at home?
- Am I using travel to reset, or am I dependent on it to feel fulfilled?
These are questions we each get to answer honestly. Because at the end of the day, true peace and contentment come not from how many stamps are in our passports, but from the quality of the lives we live daily.
Final Thoughts: Travel with Intention
Vargheese concludes her article with a balanced perspective—travel can be a powerful and transformative experience when approached mindfully. But it should enhance our lives, not serve as a crutch to avoid reality.
My goal is to build a life that I don’t feel the need to escape from. Travel gets to be something I enjoy, not something I depend on for happiness.
So, the next time you feel the urge to book a trip, pause for a moment and ask yourself: Am I traveling to explore the world, or to escape my own?
Let’s start the conversation. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Drop a comment below, like this post, and share if this message resonates with you.
Keep Rising,
Frank Love
In my next blog, “Why Do (or Don’t) We Share Problems on Social Media?,” I will discuss how understanding our motivations around social posting can help us figure out if something is worth sharing.
Watch my video The Travel Drug Related to this blog.
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Each week, Frank Love hosts Zoom support group meetings that assist women and men as we work to create a loving culture in our relationships. Calls occur from 7:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. EST and can be accessed by visiting FrankWeeklyCall.com.
- Tuesdays – Black Women: Creating a Loving Culture in Our Relationships
- Thursdays – Black Men: Creating a Loving Culture in Our Relationships
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Frank Love coaches individuals who are in (or wish to be in) a relationship toward creating a loving culture in their family. He is also the author of Relationship Conversations You Don’t Want to Have (But Should Anyway) and 25 Ways to Be Loving. To schedule a free consultation, contact Frank at Frank@FrankLove.com.
