Better understanding of our motivations around social posting can help us figure out if something is worth sharing.
In my previous blog post, “The Travel Drug: When Wanderlust Becomes Escapism,” we looked closely at why we travel and how it can help us check in on the state of our everyday lives.
Social media has become an integral part of how we connect, communicate, and present ourselves to the world. We celebrate victories, share exciting moments, and showcase the best parts of our lives. But what about the struggles, hardships, and challenges? Why do so many people hesitate to share the difficult parts of life online?
During a recent interview, I had a conversation about this very topic. One of the co-hosts asked, “Why would we share something bad with the world on social media?”
It’s a fair question. Many people log on to be entertained, inspired, or momentarily escape their own realities—not to absorb someone else’s difficulties. But that doesn’t mean the absence of struggle on social media reflects the truth of our lives.
Social Media’s Incomplete Picture
The reality is that most of what we see on social media is a highlight reel, not the full story. People post about their vacation but not the debt that paid for it. They share happy relationship moments but not the arguments. They showcase career wins but not the setbacks.
This creates an illusion—one where life appears effortless and success seems constant. But that’s rarely the case. And while sharing only the good might feel natural, it can also set unrealistic expectations for those who consume the content. Someone watching might think, Why isn’t my life as perfect as theirs?—without realizing that what they’re seeing is carefully curated.
We must remind ourselves that social media is often an advertisement. People post what they want others to see, which is not always the full reality. This doesn’t mean they are being deceptive—it just means they are selective about what they share.
Why Some People Choose Not to Share Struggles
There are many reasons people might avoid sharing their problems on social media. Some are personal, while others are influenced by societal norms and expectations.
Here are a few:
- Privacy concerns: Some prefer to keep personal struggles within a trusted circle rather than make them public. Social media can feel like a big stage, and not everyone is comfortable putting their difficulties on display.
- Fear of judgment: Many worry about how they’ll be perceived if they admit to difficulties. Will they seem weak? Will people gossip? These fears prevent people from opening up.
- Desire to maintain a positive image: In a world where perception is currency, appearing strong and successful can feel more rewarding than being vulnerable. No one wants to be labeled the person who is always complaining.
- Belief that no one wants to hear it: Some think social media isn’t the place for negativity, assuming people only want lighthearted content. They worry that sharing struggles will drive people away.
- Cultural or social norms: In certain communities, there’s an unspoken rule to keep struggles private. Many of us were raised with the mindset that “family business stays in the family” or that discussing difficulties publicly is a sign of weakness.
Additionally, some people have learned through experience that opening up can backfire. They may have shared struggles before and received unhelpful or judgmental responses, leading them to stay silent in the future.
Why Sharing Problems Can Be Beneficial
Despite the hesitation to share struggles, there are undeniable benefits to doing so—when done thoughtfully and with the right intentions. Here are some positives:
- Creating connection: When people see that others have similar struggles, it fosters a sense of solidarity. Knowing you’re not alone can be incredibly comforting.
- Promoting authenticity: A more balanced view of life can help combat unrealistic comparisons. Seeing someone share both their highs and lows creates a more honest perspective.
- Encouraging support: Opening up can invite encouragement, advice, or even solutions from those who care. Sometimes, simply knowing that someone is listening can be powerful.
- Normalizing struggle: Life is not just about successes; acknowledging the lows helps reduce the stigma around difficult times. We all face challenges, and talking about them can make it easier for others to do the same.
There are also mental health benefits to sharing struggles. Studies show that expressing emotions—whether through talking or writing—can reduce stress and promote healing. Social media, when used intentionally, can be a space for mutual support and empowerment.
A Balanced Approach
This doesn’t mean everyone should share every hardship on social media. There’s a balance. Some personal struggles are best kept private, while others, when shared thoughtfully, can contribute to meaningful conversations. The key is to ask yourself: Why am I sharing this? If the answer is to seek connection, help others, or be authentic, then sharing can be valuable. If it’s for validation or attention, it may be worth reconsidering.
At the same time, as consumers of social media, we must remind ourselves that what we see is often just an advertisement—a curated version of someone’s life, not the full reality. Comparing our behind-the-scenes moments to someone else’s highlight reel is never a fair comparison.
So, the next time you scroll through social media, take a moment to ask yourself: Am I seeing the whole picture? And when deciding what to share, consider not just what looks good, but what might be helpful, honest, and real.
Final Thoughts on Social Media Awareness
Social media is a powerful tool, but it’s up to us to decide how we use it. While some will always prefer to share only the positives, others are finding value in presenting a more complete picture of life—the ups and the downs. Neither approach is right or wrong, but awareness is key, especially when we are the consumer.
Keep Rising,
Frank Love
Watch my video Why Do (or Don’t) We Share Problems on Social Media? Related to this blog.
In my next blog, “My Reaction Is Not the Problem,” I will look at how growth occurs when we take responsibility for our actions—and reactions.
Watch Frank Love’s presentation “The Act of Caring.”
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Each week, Frank Love hosts Zoom support group meetings that assist women and men as we work to create a loving culture in our relationships. Calls occur from 7:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. EST and can be accessed by visiting FrankWeeklyCall.com.
- Tuesdays – Black Women: Creating a Loving Culture in Our Relationships
- Thursdays – Black Men: Creating a Loving Culture in Our Relationships
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Frank Love coaches individuals who are in (or wish to be in) a relationship toward creating a loving culture in their family. He is also the author of Relationship Conversations You Don’t Want to Have (But Should Anyway) and 25 Ways to Be Loving. To schedule a free consultation, contact Frank at Frank@FrankLove.com.
